Deluded
by Cold Nostalgia
Summary: Harley doesn't like her cell mate.


Title: Deluded

Disclaimer: Don't own them. Don't sue.

Claim: Harley & Ivy

Universe: DCU, Before Detective 831

Rating: PG

Word Count: 720

Characters: Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Jane Doe

Summary: Harley doesn't like her cellmate.

* * *

Solitary confinement might seem a big deal to some people; but to Harley Quinn, the Mistress of Mischief, it was a piece of cake. She was well into her second day and her mood hadn't soured one iota, no sir, it hadn't. In fact, it was like Old Man Arkham and his merry bunch of maroons had handed her a free vacation.

And, boy, with Jane Doe as a cellmate, Harley needed all the vacations she could get. In this small padded cell, with its faint stench of urine and its dubious staining, Harley felt right at home. Yes she did. Finally, she had a chance to relax, assume her normal posture, her normal mannerisms – heck, she talk and sing properly too.

What had the dum-dums been thinking? She was Harley Quinn: she was Mistah J's girl, her bestest buddy in the world was Poison Ivy, and she had two babies back at home who loved her. Who didn't want to be her? Who the fudge didn't want to be Harley Quinn?

And the brain trust of this fine establishment had shoved her in a cell with Jane Doe - life shopper extraordinaire. A serial killer with a penchant for mimicry and skinning her victims alive, then assuming their lives once she'd studied them for long enough.

If it hadn't been for her amazing Irish accent, Harley doubted she would have managed to survive for as long as she had. Not that Harley didn't think she couldn't take Doe if the looney tune decided that accent or no, Harley's life was simply too tempting to pass up…

It was just that Doe didn't fight fair. She always waited for her victims to turn their back on her, always waited until they were at their most vulnerable…and as a wise man on the TV had once said to Harley: "even the eagle must sleep."

And poor Harley hadn't been getting a hell of a lot of that since she'd been shoved into a cell with that manic…

Harley shook her head sadly, unable to decide whether the white coats were either completely incompetent; or were just plain out to kill her. She knew that there were quite a few staff members who were still mad at her over the last escape attempt. It wasn't her fault Reynolds had decided that he was Batman. It hadn't been her fault that he'd gone flying down the stairs and ended up with a broken neck. No sir, it wasn't.

Stretching up from her crouched position, Harley began a leisurely pace of her cell. It was pointless brooding over the Doe situation; her Puddin' would be breaking her out soon enough, hopefully before she got out of solitary. Before she was stuck sharing a cell with that cipher again. Before she would have to spend nearly every minute of every day wondering if Doe was going to attack her again.

It took it out of a gal, it really did.

Of course, Harley thought Ivy could have been a little more sympathetic to her plight when she had discussed it with her in the rec room. But Pammy being Pammy, she'd simply smiled at Harley and told her she could handle whatever Doe could threw at her; then she had swiftly turned the conversation back to the evils of the banana trade and how all those involved would soon pay.

It hadn't taken long for the conversation to turn into a one-sided rant, nor had it taken too long for the guard to come over to their table and tell them to quieten down. It hadn't taken long for Ivy to slap him, or for Harley to throw that chair.

It'd been almost instantaneous the way they'd been dragged from the room and placed into solitary confinement for a week.

With nary a Jane Doe in sight…

Harley let that one sink in for a moment…

Harley smiled to herself, once more settling her self down in the cleanest corner of the room. Ivy really was the best friend a girl could have. Always watching her back, doing a week of solitary for her best pal in the world. How could Harley have doubted her?

And with that, Harley selected an old episode of Cheers from her mental ipod, feeling all right with the world.


End file.
